… I am scared to death of having this baby.
Not the whole labor and delivery scheduled C-section part, but the whole bringing home a new baby and managing life with a toddler thing. Nursing a newborn while not being pulled around for a new activity every 5 minutes. Brayden’s transition. MY transition. My husband’s transition. How I will handle toddler meltdowns and a newborn crying on postpartum hormones.
And with Brayden’s sudden change in behavior/schedule the last couple of days, I am more scared than ever.
When we moved him to his big boy bed, we thought it was great (and hilarious) that he would just chat to himself until someone walked in to get him in the mornings. For a whole month, it was like he didn’t know he could just get out. But we were ok with it and never said anything about it.
Cue two mornings ago. I heard Brayden say momma, and as I was getting up from the couch to go get him, I heard his door open. He came running out like he had won the lottery! He was so excited. And I was so not expecting that. I thought maybe since he didn’t have his paci (an entire other blog post) that it was just a fluke. He napped for almost 2 hours that afternoon and came running out all by himself. No big deal. He really can’t get into anything, and I am usually up before him. But it is creepy to know that if the timing isn’t just right, he would find me in the shower. I just don’t want him to be scared.
Yesterday, though, was the epic fail of this transition. We helped my mom clean through most of my childhood belongings all morning in the 100 degree heat. Brayden played with some old toys of my brothers and was a big helper! He was in a good mood, albeit hot and sweaty, and I just knew he would be SO exhausted and take a nap at my mom’s. We had lunch, got him cleaned up a bit, rocked him, and put him in the crib. About 20 minutes later, I hear him banging on the wall. No big deal, he will probably just get tired in there and fall asleep.
Wrong.
Little Houdini hurdled himself out of the crib. The crib whose rail when up is as tall as me (5ft). And he landed right on his poor little face. He cried for a second, then I met him at the door. He acted fine, not tired, and he certainly was NOT going back in that crib. I know he is getting to the age where he might not always take a nap (or a 3 hour one at that) but he was SO tired I thought for sure I would get an hour out of him! After a while, I made him go lay in my sister’s bed with me for 15 minutes with a cartoon on just so he would rest a little bit. He seemed fine, and we continued about our day.
When Brandon showed up at my mom’s later that evening, Brayden decided to climb to the top of the couch. And when we got home? He tried to climb the changing table in the nursery. My kid who was not a climber, suddenly is a climber.
And I am feeling like a failure.
My mom assured me that it is his age, that he is exploring his boundaries, and that this is how he learns. She encouraged me to be patient with him, but consistent, and that he will get it figured out. I just didn’t expect there to be a crib/nap strike 5 weeks before his baby sister was due to arrive. Let’s hope I can get him comfortable taking naps at my parent’s house again before baby girl arrives, or it will be a long couple of days for them while I am in the hospital! And mom’s that have been here? Advice? It’s appreciated.
Saturday started with the opening program, 4 workshops with lunch in between, and then the closing program. It was an incredible day. I learned so much about myself, about my role as a wife and a mother, reaffirmation that staying at home with Brayden is exactly what God has called me to do, and I was just so encouraged.
Hi! I'm Julie- wife, stay at home momma, aspiring photographer, and blogger of all things! 
