Discipline | ...back to the basics...

Just add “referee” to my job title…

March 28, 2013 by julie · 6 Comments

When Kenley was a newborn, I secretly longed for the day that both kids could and WOULD play together. Civil like. And then I could go about my business and they could entertain each other for 5 minutes so that I could use the bathroom alone, prep dinner, or BLINK.

Sadly my friends, that was not to become a reality. Well, 90% of the time it’s not.

Exhibit A.

While Brayden was a pretty mild mannered toddler (for the most part), Kenley is the total opposite. She wants what she wants and she wanted it 5 minutes ago. We actually laugh a little when she starts getting really mad about something. She’s so determined. She’s headstrong, bossy, and needs her own country to run.

She’s feisty and that has posed a totally new ballgame up in this house.

TWO strong willed children.

The other night, my sister and brother-in-law were over, and Eric asked “What do you think would happen if you left them alone for an hour?” Brandon immediately said “they would kill each other.”

All joking aside, I have $10 on Kenley. Every. Time.

Girl knows what she wants! And I know this will pay off later in life. (I hope.) And it isn’t a bad trait whatsoever, but it makes parenting an almost 18 month old somewhat of a challenge.

Generally, when I hear crying or arguing from another room and I don’t know who started it, I generally guess it was Brayden. But then I will catch Kenley being an instigator. So, I pull them apart, ask Brayden “what happened?” instead of “what did you do?” and go from there. It’s not perfect but at least then it’s giving him a fair chance to say “I hurt her because” or “she took that from me”– the most popular answers.

80% of my day is spent as a referee. Please tell me I am not the only one.

Filed Under: Brayden, discipline, Kenley, life as a mom ·

Where I question my parenting skills…

November 5, 2012 by julie · 5 Comments

Must be the fool moon. But lately, I have been questioning my skills as a parent.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KIDS?

Constant meltdowns. Constant clinging. Constant fighting–with each other AND of naps. Constant whining.

I feel more mentally worn out lately that I ever have, I swear. I just can’t reason with these two. By the end of the day, my patience is so thin– and I hate that feeling. It was a tough weekend. Today, we aren’t going anywhere. We are in comfy clothes, staying warm, baking, watching Mickey Mouse (that’s the only thing that Kenley likes right now) and just trying to slow down. Just today.

And yes, I am sure it’s a phase but holy moly, I was not prepared for this. Not at all.

Filed Under: about me, babies, discipline ·

Holy Toddler Tantrums

March 3, 2011 by julie · 5 Comments

Can we just say there has been a lot of “this too shall pass” attitudes at this house lately? Sheesh.

(photo credit)

And for the record, I hope this passes soon, but I have my doubts.

You see, Brayden is still not very verbal. His babbling is getting a LOT better, and I really do think he is on the verge of speaking, but he gets really frustrated because he can’t. And so do we. He IS really good about trying to tell us what he wants, but when he goes to the fridge and has a meltdown because every.single.thing I show him isn’t it? Those are the times when I wish he could speak.

Yesterday, it was a tantrum because I wouldn’t put his combine back together for the billionth time. He was purposely taking it apart and then handing it right back to me. After I said “No, you need to find something else to play with”, he threw part of it at me. So I took it away, and it was most definitely nap time. He threw an epic tantrum, real tears and all- but as soon as he had his blankie and paci? It was lights out. What was I supposed to do, let him keep chucking it at me? I think not.

We have really been working on his “please” and “thank you”- basic manners. Also? Patience.

Oh, the patience part is for me.

I digress- it’s just a part of life, and we are weathering it in what we think is the best way for right now. Stay tuned, I am sure it only gets more interesting!

Filed Under: discipline, toddlerhood ·

Disciplining Diffferences

February 2, 2011 by julie · 7 Comments

{Hilarious, right?}

I will be the first to admit that in our house, Brandon and I are not *always* on the same page when it comes to disciplining Brayden. For instance, if Brayden is doing something he shouldn’t be, I correct him, and give him a chance to learn from that. Brandon will always step in first and say “No” a bit more firmly, and when I say “give him a chance” sometimes the reply is “well, he has to learn.” (Oh, and not in a snotty tone or anything- this conversation is hard to put into writing.)

It’s like we are both trying to get to the same place, but in a different way. I don’t feel like this is a major issue for us, but it is definitely something that takes constant work. And it’s not even that Brayden’s consequences for doing things he shouldn’t be doing are different, it is just the act of disciplining itself. Does that make sense?

Sometimes, it is frustrating. Well, let’s face it, discipline in itself is frustrating! Especially with a child that isn’t quite verbally communicating yet (but sure knows how to stomp and scream!) And I know that we probably won’t always be on the same page, but as long as we are in it for the common goal, that is what counts.

How do you guys handle disciplining differences? Are there major ones or just minor ones in your families? I am interested to hear your feedback!

Filed Under: discipline, toddlerhood ·

testing the waters

June 18, 2010 by julie · 5 Comments

My little boy is starting to test the waters at home. Like really test them. He threw his very first temper tantrum, complete with stomping feet and real tears. Why, you ask? Because I wouldn’t let him play with my brother’s very real, expensive guitar. I am mean like that I guess.

I know that this is just him learning, but it is SO darn frustrating. He goes and sits right next to the fireplace and WAITS for me to tell him no, because I KNOW he is going to turn around and start banging on the glass doors. So I wait. And watch. And just when he thinks I am blinking, he turns around to bang on the doors, I say “no!” and he has a meltdown. Sometimes those meltdowns are of epic proportions.

It is like he knows what I am saying, and that what he is doing is wrong, but he just wants to see what I will do. First, I just say no. The second time, I say no and remove him from where he was and try to entertain him with something else. If there is a third time (and lately there has been) I look him straight in the eye AGAIN and say NO, you can’t have ______ because of _______ and remove him again. The third time has worked, but wow, after awhile it sure is exhausting!

I never really thought about how hard it would be to discipline Brayden. It is very trying. I mean, I knew I was going to have to discipline him, but realizing how tough it would be was something I never really thought about while I was pregnant! He is still little and learning, so I know that I have to be cautious in the way I go about disciplining him. I feel like kids need to know why they can’t have or do a certain thing, and even though he can’t completely understand that now, it is a good habit to start.

It is like he is 10 months going on 3! I will admit, sometimes it is just funny to watch him get a little upset. The face when he realizes that I am not going to cave is pretty funny. But then, he does this: