If you follow me on Twitter, you know that last week, I was having quite a time with that spunky, sassy 17 month old that resides here. If you still aren’t sure who that is, her name starts with a K.
She was fighting naps, bedtime, crying more than she was NOT crying, being overly clingy, not playing at all– and I just could not figure it out. I blamed her 15 month shots, teeth, the time change– to no avail. No fever, no cough– no other possible warning signs.
To say I was losing it would be an understatement.
Now, to be fair, I haven’t struggled with anxiety this time around like I did after having Brayden, but after relentless crying for that long, I was at a breaking point. My shoulders, back, and neck ached from holding her and carrying her. My mind hurt from trying to figure her out. And physically, I was not a pretty version of myself.
Finally, I decided to call the dr. office again, just to talk to a nurse, see if I missed anything. They told me to bring her in so they could check for a possible ear infection or strep. And said they could see her in 45 min. I live an hour away. And both kids were napping.
So, naturally, I said we would be there.
(Thankfully, I remembered to put on a bra.)
I got the kids up, dressed, threw a few things in Kenley’s bag, and off we went.
And my car didn’t have enough gas. And then I flung gas all over my nice yoga pants and sweatshirt.
We were 15 minutes late but they still got us in, and could not find anything. Strep test came back negative, so our doctor ordered some blood work just to be safe, so make sure she didn’t have anything that could be making her this way.
I was a mess. A MESS.
My mother in law met me at the hospital and sat with Brayden in the car while I took Kenley in. Of course, I got a tech that couldn’t get it on the first try, and trying to pin Kenley down for THAT long was not an experience I care to repeat anytime soon. I held it together until I got back out to the car, and then proceeded to lose it again.
IS THIS REALLY MY LIFE RIGHT NOW? I just couldn’t believe how this day was turning out.
But, as we left the hospital, I just prayed. I thanked God that it was nothing serious with Kenley, that the blood draw was just a precaution. I prayed for strength. I prayed for my attitude. I prayed that my sweet girl would stop crying.
As I was texting a dear friend, she couldn’t believe everything I was telling her and said “you just have to laugh now!”. And laugh I did. It just all seemed SO ridiculous and HARD at the time, but at the end of the day, that’s just the life of a mom.
Never easy. Never ending. And I was able to find that I was blessed even in those tough moments.
(As is turns out, my mom had a terrible sore throat after all of this, and her strep test came back negative as well. Kenley broke out in a rash like she does at the end of all viruses, so I am assuming that she just had a bug of some sort. Her blood work came back fine.)