Have you ever been in a situation with someone where you completely disagreed with what they are doing and it gets you all fired up inside but you don’t know what to do about it?
(note: I am not talking about anything specific in this post, and have tried to make this post as generalized as possible.)
I am almost 100% positive that you have. And it’s a tough spot to be in!
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This has happened to me in the past and I get so torn on what to do. Confront people? Cover my eyes and ears and pretend I don’t notice? Tell them that I don’t agree with what they are doing? Because really they should be making those decisions themselves. (I am referring to people over the age of 18 in general). And if they don’t care about themselves and are putting themselves or others into harm’s way or just making bad decisions knowingly, is it really any of my business? This is where it gets tricky.
My sister and I discussed this one time and she said she felt like it was like watching someone about to walk out in front of a Mac truck who didn’t see it coming, but she did and couldn’t warn them. I loved her perspective on that, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with these situations arise.
Which leads me to this question: Why is it that some people seem to have no measurement for what is right and what is wrong? And what makes them choose “wrong” (by society’s standards) and how can they knowingly do something that is wrong, but yet think it’s ok? At what point does it become your business? I try not to care about what others think of me and the decisions I make, so why do I feel like sometimes I am caring too much about the decisions that other people are making?
What would you/have you done in these types of situations?
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Tricky is right. I think it depends on the relationship you have with the person. My husband, the one God appointed me to be ‘helper’ to, is definitely my business. My neighbor, acquaintance at church, even a close friend, those require some clear direction from God. Honestly, when I feel this urge to speak up to someone, I say a prayer asking God to give me clear direction if He wants to use me in the situation. And since I’m such a conflict avoider, I ask Him to make it obvious so I don’t hind behind my fears of acceptance and miss a calling to help another.
to attempt to answer an earlier question about people not having a sense of right/wrong — my thought is to look at their walk. are they walking with God. in Faith. intentionally to further His kingdom? if not, i can guarantee you that they are not able to decide right/wrong on the values that we have as Christians. i unfortunately have dealt with immediate family members that will bold-face lie, make terrible decisions based on greed, sexual immorality & more and not even think twice about it being wrong or a sin.
i loved reading this post and the analogy of the Mac truck – a good one to think about for future issues of this nature.
Definitely a tricky situation. I agree that it depends on the relationship, although, it’s not cut-and-dry there either. Someone in my family makes A LOT of decisions that I don’t agree with but if I say something to her about it she pulls the “I’m depressed, nobody loves me, I should just die” card (and I say “card” because she uses it ANYTIME someone says something to her she doesn’t like), so I just stopped. She can make her own decisions and I guess I just have to let her…she won’t learn any other way, I just hope she learns because I can see by others who are older than myself that some never learn. Ya know what though…I L.O.V.E the Mac truck analogy. PERFECT!
Great post.
I think it’s difficult because what may seem obviously right or wrong to us, may not appear that way to others. It can be environmental or the way they were raised. I think it’s important to build a relationship and mutual respect to then approach the person with any concerns you may genuinely have.
SO hard!!