Actually, this is the end. On April 6th, Brayden and I said goodbye to breastfeeding and hello to formula. I think I cried most of the day, and honestly, I have no idea why. (Well, I mean besides raging hormones and anxiety.) I mean, I get to wear real bras again. No more stuffing them with pads, I could leave Brayden with someone if I wanted to (not ready to do that yet!), and get my body back. But I already miss it. I miss that sense of “momma I need you” and the closeness that it provides. I miss those big blue eyes looking up at me. I miss that time of relaxation, just me and my boy.
After calling the pediatrician’s office Tuesday, I followed her advice and eliminated one feeding of cereal and decreased the fruits and veggies Brayden was getting during the other 2 feedings. Sure enough, he took very quickly to the formula and managed to get down 10 ounces the first day that I didn’t nurse him. Although he is supposed to be getting 24, he had nursed that morning already and had cereal and fruit, so it was a little slower going than I thought it was going to be. The good news is that the transition is going well so far for him. He slept from 9:30pm-6am after having formula before bed, so that helped my confidence a lot. He does awesome with his sippy cup (I need to get a few more!) and looks like such a big boy.
Things for me are not going so well. The reason I stopped in the first place was because my supply was tanking, and tanking fast. I didn’t have a change in diet or anything of that matter, it was just nature’s way of saying that it was time to move on. Once I sort of got over that part (because I am not quite over it yet!) I started to weigh the good with the bad and felt ok about switching Brayden to formula. Wouldn’t you know it, my boobs kicked it back into high gear the first night and WOW were they sore. I know this is part of the drying up process and everything but I am so sore. I didn’t sleep well at ALL because I couldn’t get comfortable. The quickest relief would be to nurse him, but I know I still don’t have enough to satisfy him, so I am gritting my teeth and bearing it. Apparently, putting cabbage leaves in your bra is supposed to help. I think I will stick with cold compresses and ibuprofen. Lots of ibuprofen. Not to mention the fact that I am an emotional wreck over this entire thing. I have struggled with anxiety since Brayden was born, and this is definitely not helping matters. In my head I know it will be ok, I just know it is going to take a few days for me to get over it.
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