Lately, I feel like life is moving at a faster pace than what I really want it to.
I am forgetting things. I am not doing certain things 100% well 100% of the time (like cooking, cleaning, or organizing things around the house.) I am not as intentional. I am not as focused. I do things halfway. It’s survival mode here lately, and though I am ok with it, I just know I can do better.
It’s a busy time of year with Brandon in the field– working long hours (5am-10pm most nights), full weekends, beautiful weather, and just not enough hours in the day. I just keep saying “this is just a phase” but honestly, how long do phases really last? The toys are rarely picked up, and as long as the laundry is done and we are eating, I call it a win. We have spent time outside, running errands, and just staying busy so that we don’t notice that Brandon is gone as much. It’s tough on the kids, but that’s the nature of his work– and I just like that he LOVES what he is doing.
I can do better. I can do more. I can clean up toys and interact with my kids and shower daily and prepare meals. I can also choose my battles and grab a Happy Meal if need be. I can spend time searching for inspiration and reading and taking time for myself in the evenings since Brandon is working late. It’s refreshing. I can practice with my camera and take photos of my kids in their element and take the time to edit them and post-process them and share them. I can do it. I just have to do other things well so that I am not distracted.
I have had a burst of creative energy lately and I am loving it. I am not sure where this will lead, but I know it’s leading somewhere. Something big is around the corner–I have felt that way since October! I think I am on the verge of finding out.
For now, I will soak up my babies and do the things I love and try to be the best mom I can be. I will try to carve out some time for me, and invest everything I can in my kids. I will be more intentional as a wife, as a mother, and see this home as my domain and not as something that is just out to get me. I will figure out what the next big thing is, and embrace it.
I can do this.